Are you an EXPERT SEXTER?
By Carol Graham, 28 January 2019
Do you titillate your lover with flirty messages suggesting that you’d like to skip dinner and move straight into the bedroom for dessert? A picture of your lacy knickers is sure to whet their appetite? Maybe you tantalise your online date with an explicit step by step commentary on what you are going to do to yourself in the shower with the promise of a soapy naked selfie later? For some, the more graphically explicit, the better.
Sexting has grown in popularity over the years since it first came about circa 2008 especially since it has such a disinhibiting affect. It’s a bit like feeling brave after a few drinks. How much easier to talk ‘dirty’ to someone when they can’t see your face, and doesn’t an expertly posed selfie in skimpy underwear look so much more enticing than seeing it all in the flesh? How bold we can be on the other end of a device. There is less at stake, no anticipation of a direct verbal response, less chance of being critiqued or judged, hence the opportunity for greater sexual expression.
So, what exactly is ‘Sexting’? It is when someone sends or receives a sexually explicit image, video or text message on their mobile phone, computer or tablet. It can include nude, or nearly nude, photos or selfies and messages that propose or refer to sex or sexual acts.
Sexting is a practice often associated with teenagers, and young adults but the reality is that it has become popular across all age ranges. Relationship experts report that more and more of the 50 plus’s routinely use their mobile device to send naughty pics and teasing texts to their partner or love interest.
So, is it a good thing?
Sexting can be a great thing! It can be an intimate expression between two private, caring and consensual parties, whether they are single, dating, in a committed relationship or married. It’s a great way for couples with busy schedules to stay romantically connected especially when they travel, work or live apart. Your intimate pic is very likely to bring a smile to their face when you show them what they are missing. A few choice words can spice up a relationship or set the stage for passion. You can breathe excitement into a dull day at the office, and don’t you feel young, carefree and alive when you’re flirting? It can be your naughty secret and it can be far more comfortable to hide behind a text when you want to say something ‘dirty’.
When is it Bad?
Yep, like anything else that’s fun, it has its dangers too. For one thing, it can be easy to send a ‘sext’ to a wrong number, and that can be embarrassing, or worse! Wrong number or right number your content could be shared. You will have heard many a tale of someone who has been a victim of a partner who shared the sexually charged picture or text with mates or co-workers! Even if the image, video, or text was only meant for one person, after it's sent or posted, it's out of your control. Can you completely trust the discretion or privacy of the recipient?
It’s important to understand that messages, pictures, or videos sent via the Internet or smartphones are never truly private or anonymous. In seconds they can be out there for all the world to see. If a compromising image goes public, or is sent to others, you could be at risk of humiliation, embarrassment, and public ridicule. Even worse, it could damage your self-image, career, relationships and even lead to depression and other mental health issues.